The first memories I have of my parents together they were always smiling, kissing, laughing together, dad playing catch with me outside, mom cooking lunch inside for us and watching my sister while my little brother tried to play catch too but wasn't quite old enough to really do it. It was as good as it got I think looking back, it got worse and worse every year that I can remember, almost everything i've known is gone now but that's a later story.
Growing up in my house was as all-american as you could get. My dad coached every sports team my brother and I played on until I got to high school and even then he coached 2 different teams at my high school. There was 3 of us kids, I'm Kaleb the oldest, then came Kyle who was 2.5 years behind me and then Kristen who was 3 years behind Kyle. My mom was a stay at home mom for most of our childhood because that's just how it was normally. I didn't think she minded until later on when things started getting bad, then again I don't know if they were ever actually "good", maybe I just saw what I wanted to see when I was younger. On the outside looking in we had the perfect family, at least that's what everyone in town thought. Dad was perfect, went to the army right out of high school, came back and became a police officer, after working his way up made it to chief of police, always around to coach, good husband, father, son. That's the side of dad everyone on the outside knew, the sober, police officer, coach, and husband....
Ok, a little backround to start. I was born on an army base because obviously my father was in the army which he enlisted right out of high school and was based in the South. My mother got pregnant with me when she was 18 and they were living together, I was born when they were only 19. This was not that unusual in that time though, in the early 80's a lot of people got married around that age. This was November 1983 and their families were both so excited to see me arrive, I was the first child in the family that generation.
Now a backround of how my parents grew up so you'll understand how I was punished, rebelled, spoken to, lived, and reacted to how I was brought up. Both parents had a pretty middle class white typical upbringing but their parents were polar opposite in their beliefs.
My mother's parents were together since they were in grade school and were still together until this past August when my grandfather died of a heart attack out of the blue while driving. It was really hard on my grandma, she has never known anything but him, never been apart for more then 2 weeks in the last 56 years and those 2 weeks were vacationing visiting my moms sister, my aunt, in Florida and they talked everyday. They were both laid back, quiet people who were active in their kids lives and community but passive personalities. They had 4 kids, all girls and my mother was the oldest.
My parents grew up in a towns that were both mostly white at the time and they lived about 5-10 minutes apart. I can only remember my grandfather raising his voice about talking level 1 time in the 27 years I knew him and that was yelling at a baseball game when I stuck someone out, it was one of the best memories of my childhood with him. He was a churchgoing man and that was very important to him, much more then to the rest of our family. My grandmother was a closet alcoholic for almost her entire life. I didn't know this until she was arrested for a DUI about 2 years ago. It was a family secret that was kept just as that, a secret. She hid it well, only vodka, straight, and only did it in private, i never saw her drink even a glass of wine in my life.
Up until the divorce though or at least up until they fought so much we knew eventually they would get divorced they still played the happy family everything is beautiful bullshit part in public. Almost no one even had any clue it was coming when they started telling ppl because that's just how fake it was. It was be a smile and a pagent wave walking in the house and the as the door closes you'd hear, "your such a god damn asshole, couldn't even help me carry all this" then "just shut up, i'm so sick of listening to you complain, everyday it's the same bitching". They pretended for my brother to a point and then gave up, but a lot of it was for my sister, she was still pretty young and didn't understand what was happening.
Dad's home life growing up was somewhat like mine probably, or at least it had similarities. His parents divorced and both remarried just like mine, his dad had a temper that could get pretty volitale and his father drank. They didn't talk for many years after he was older and moved out and that's something I went through too. His father was a lot more strict then his mother just like mine and he started drinking and partying pretty young from what i've been told just like me. You'll hear the details of all of this and some of the stories later on. My father played sports growing up just like I did, but his dad and grandfather owned a farm so they wern't as into sports. I think that's a lot of the reason he always tried to be around to coach my teams, he felt like it's something he never had and wanted it to be different for me.
People don't know exactly how hard it is to play for your father, especially my father. Some dad's are the ones that favor their kids and show them off, brag about them when there not athletic ect....that wasn't my dads way to do things. I had to try twice as hard as the other kids just to not be doing something wrong, I had to not just be good, I had to do everything perfect. I had a year in little league that I literally gave up 2 hits. Not gave up 2 hits in a game I pitched, I LITERALLY WAS A PITCHER THAT THREW 8 NO HITTERS AND 2 GAMES I GAVE UP 1 HIT EACH. A total of 2 hits the entire year off me. I think I heard something about that from him twice, and that was a few years later.
Now that you have a little backround I'll get into when I had my first drink, when I was 11, and when I was arrested for the first time, when I was 12. It's going to be a story with a lot of highs and a lot of lows but I made it through college and out into the world but it's wasn't easy and I didn't have very much support as you'll see.....hope you get something out of this, that's why i'm telling my story, cause maybe there's someone out there that thinks no one will understand, and they can't take one more bad thing their kid does. I've done more things wrong then I can fit into this book and i've had supportive parents at times and i've had absentee parents for a lot of age 16-23 but I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. Some of it made me stronger, some showed exactly what I don't want to be like or what I don't want to say to my kid when I have one. If there is anyone reading this that needs someone to talk to ever, just let me know, i'm more then happy to help, it's what i've been put on the earth to do now, teach....
Growing up in my house was as all-american as you could get. My dad coached every sports team my brother and I played on until I got to high school and even then he coached 2 different teams at my high school. There was 3 of us kids, I'm Kaleb the oldest, then came Kyle who was 2.5 years behind me and then Kristen who was 3 years behind Kyle. My mom was a stay at home mom for most of our childhood because that's just how it was normally. I didn't think she minded until later on when things started getting bad, then again I don't know if they were ever actually "good", maybe I just saw what I wanted to see when I was younger. On the outside looking in we had the perfect family, at least that's what everyone in town thought. Dad was perfect, went to the army right out of high school, came back and became a police officer, after working his way up made it to chief of police, always around to coach, good husband, father, son. That's the side of dad everyone on the outside knew, the sober, police officer, coach, and husband....
Ok, a little backround to start. I was born on an army base because obviously my father was in the army which he enlisted right out of high school and was based in the South. My mother got pregnant with me when she was 18 and they were living together, I was born when they were only 19. This was not that unusual in that time though, in the early 80's a lot of people got married around that age. This was November 1983 and their families were both so excited to see me arrive, I was the first child in the family that generation.
Now a backround of how my parents grew up so you'll understand how I was punished, rebelled, spoken to, lived, and reacted to how I was brought up. Both parents had a pretty middle class white typical upbringing but their parents were polar opposite in their beliefs.
My mother's parents were together since they were in grade school and were still together until this past August when my grandfather died of a heart attack out of the blue while driving. It was really hard on my grandma, she has never known anything but him, never been apart for more then 2 weeks in the last 56 years and those 2 weeks were vacationing visiting my moms sister, my aunt, in Florida and they talked everyday. They were both laid back, quiet people who were active in their kids lives and community but passive personalities. They had 4 kids, all girls and my mother was the oldest.
My parents grew up in a towns that were both mostly white at the time and they lived about 5-10 minutes apart. I can only remember my grandfather raising his voice about talking level 1 time in the 27 years I knew him and that was yelling at a baseball game when I stuck someone out, it was one of the best memories of my childhood with him. He was a churchgoing man and that was very important to him, much more then to the rest of our family. My grandmother was a closet alcoholic for almost her entire life. I didn't know this until she was arrested for a DUI about 2 years ago. It was a family secret that was kept just as that, a secret. She hid it well, only vodka, straight, and only did it in private, i never saw her drink even a glass of wine in my life.
Up until the divorce though or at least up until they fought so much we knew eventually they would get divorced they still played the happy family everything is beautiful bullshit part in public. Almost no one even had any clue it was coming when they started telling ppl because that's just how fake it was. It was be a smile and a pagent wave walking in the house and the as the door closes you'd hear, "your such a god damn asshole, couldn't even help me carry all this" then "just shut up, i'm so sick of listening to you complain, everyday it's the same bitching". They pretended for my brother to a point and then gave up, but a lot of it was for my sister, she was still pretty young and didn't understand what was happening.
Dad's home life growing up was somewhat like mine probably, or at least it had similarities. His parents divorced and both remarried just like mine, his dad had a temper that could get pretty volitale and his father drank. They didn't talk for many years after he was older and moved out and that's something I went through too. His father was a lot more strict then his mother just like mine and he started drinking and partying pretty young from what i've been told just like me. You'll hear the details of all of this and some of the stories later on. My father played sports growing up just like I did, but his dad and grandfather owned a farm so they wern't as into sports. I think that's a lot of the reason he always tried to be around to coach my teams, he felt like it's something he never had and wanted it to be different for me.
People don't know exactly how hard it is to play for your father, especially my father. Some dad's are the ones that favor their kids and show them off, brag about them when there not athletic ect....that wasn't my dads way to do things. I had to try twice as hard as the other kids just to not be doing something wrong, I had to not just be good, I had to do everything perfect. I had a year in little league that I literally gave up 2 hits. Not gave up 2 hits in a game I pitched, I LITERALLY WAS A PITCHER THAT THREW 8 NO HITTERS AND 2 GAMES I GAVE UP 1 HIT EACH. A total of 2 hits the entire year off me. I think I heard something about that from him twice, and that was a few years later.
Now that you have a little backround I'll get into when I had my first drink, when I was 11, and when I was arrested for the first time, when I was 12. It's going to be a story with a lot of highs and a lot of lows but I made it through college and out into the world but it's wasn't easy and I didn't have very much support as you'll see.....hope you get something out of this, that's why i'm telling my story, cause maybe there's someone out there that thinks no one will understand, and they can't take one more bad thing their kid does. I've done more things wrong then I can fit into this book and i've had supportive parents at times and i've had absentee parents for a lot of age 16-23 but I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. Some of it made me stronger, some showed exactly what I don't want to be like or what I don't want to say to my kid when I have one. If there is anyone reading this that needs someone to talk to ever, just let me know, i'm more then happy to help, it's what i've been put on the earth to do now, teach....
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